Ch. 25 Ep. 4: My Pathetic Self
Emotions run high and Karin drives Emma away despite her visiting out of concern. Unable to understand why she did that and got so emotional, Karin's regret and confusion lead to her skipping school. Who then comes to her?
Kanata
I heard Karin didn't come to school again today. She didn't show up yesterday either, right?
Player
Yeah…
Kanata
Does she have a cold? We're worried about her, so how about we all pay her a visit?
Player
If she really is sick and a big group descends on her, we might drain her of energy. You guys have practice, right? I'll be the one to go.
Kanata
Okay. Take this along with you, then.
Player
What's this?
Kanata
My special pudding. I figured this might be the one thing she's able to eat if she's lost her appetite with a cold.
Player
Wow! I bet eating that will cure her cold instantly.
Kanata
*Giggle* I really hope so. She's in your hands then.
[Fade in/out.]
Karin
I'll thank Kanata for the pudding later.
Player
Yeah, please do. She's been worried about you.
Karin
And I know why you've suddenly come to see me as well.
Player
R-Right.
Karin
I'm sorry for making you worry about me.
Player
Hey, come on now, look me in the eye. I don't care if your room is messy or anything.
Karin
But I care!
Karin
It's not always like this, okay? Usually it's a little neater. You just happened to drop by on a messy day!
Player
O-Okay, I get it.
Karin
*Sigh* I was really surprised to find you banging on my door.
Player
I didn't get a response when I knocked, so I was worried you'd passed out inside your room or something…
Player
You're the one who surprised ME when you called out from the hallway carrying a bag of things from the convenience store.
Karin
I just ran out to do some shopping since I was completely out of food and stuff.
Player
Do you mind if I ask you what you were doing up until you ran out of food?
Karin
Nothing in particular.
Player
I'm sure you've been doing more than just nothing, like practice or…
Karin
No. I really have been doing nothing. Not even the stretches and exercises I used to always do without fail. Absolutely nothing.
Karin
Didn't Emma tell you?
Player
Emma? She didn't mention anything to me.
Karin
I had a fight with her. Actually, I wouldn't call it a fight. I was the one who lashed out at her and made her leave even though she went to the effort to check on me…
Karin
Seriously, what on earth am I doing? I'm ashamed of myself. I ended up taking out my anger on her.
Karin
She hit me right where it hurt.
[Fade in/out.]
Player
I see. So that's what happened.
Karin
It all boils down to me not having any confidence.
Karin
That was the first time I'd ever been so strict with myself as I practiced. And in line with that, I got better and better. I thought my win was in the bag, but I lost.
Karin
What I'm doing is right. It should be right. But there still might be something else. Something I haven't realized.
Karin
Emma and Kasumi know what it is. The other girls do too… I'm the only one who doesn't get it.
Karin
Hey, what did you think of my performance when you saw it? Was it different from how I used to be? If it was, how so?
Player
I think that both your singing and dancing have improved immensely. It felt to me as if you'd really been putting a lot of effort in.
Karin
Then why did I lose to Kasumi in a landslide?
Player
It's hard to explain, but Kasumi puts on shows that I'm positive only she could pull off. She pours both her good and not-so-good qualities into them. It makes her lovable.
Player
I think that right now you're truly amazing. You're so cool it blows me away. But…I feel as though I could say the same of other girls out there.
Karin
So you're saying that I'm not making my performance mine alone.
Player
That's not exactly what I mean, but I'm sorry I can't explain it properly.
Karin
No, it's okay. I was sick of going over it in my mind and getting nowhere, so I'm glad someone said it to me.
Karin
And I'm glad that someone was you.
Karin
There's something I'm missing that I just can't see. Everyone in the Club gets it. So I should just watch videos of all the Club members and learn from them.
Karin
Hey, I want you to watch them with me and tell me if you notice anything.
Player
I don't mind at all, but why don't we head outside to breathe in some fresh air for a bit first? You've been cooped up this whole time, haven't you?
Player
I know how serious and how much of a hard worker you are, but it's not good to keep working at something without giving yourself a break.
Karin
You're right. I need to reset myself.
Karin
Okay. Let's take a break.
Player
Yeah.
Karin
Since I'm taking a break, let's go and try this parfait I've had my eye on.
Player
Huh?
Karin
I'm full throttle when it comes to relaxing as well!
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