When I was just beginning to work as an amateur model, I was so excited. I was just full of vim and vigor, y'know?

But there were some people who told me that amateur models were just girls who stood out a bit whose only talent was smiling for the cameras.

When I heard that, I worked even harder so I could really stick it to them.

All in all, that's what got me to do better at my photo shoots. And that led to more opportunities to appear in magazines, so it wasn't entirely bad.

So naturally, the more I got recognized, the more often I got featured in the magazine, right? Eventually, my popularity went up and I became one of their top models.

So your efforts paid off. You must've gone through some really tough times to get to that point.

*Chuckle* I'll leave that all up to your imagination.

Then one day, the magazine started a new project.

They wanted to gather a bunch of popular models together, make a fan club for them, and then feature it in the magazine.

Wow, I didn't know fashion magazines did that sort of thing.

Me neither, and it was my first time taking on a project with a group of people too, so I got super excited about it.

I kept telling myself, go big or go home. I remember it clearly even now.

I wanted to become a professional model who could even walk on the runways overseas for fashion week, not just for me, but for all my fans too.

You're definitely the type who works harder the more difficult the goal is, huh?

I mean, not to toot my own horn or anything, but yes. That goal was what made me be so harsh on myself too.

I assumed everyone had the same mindset. Maybe they weren't trying to reach the top of the top, but I thought for sure they were working hard enough to get up there, y'know?

But that wasn't the case, was it?

Like I said, I got too fired up over it.

Either way, everyone did their jobs, so on the surface, we didn't have any problems.

Still, we didn't share the same ideals. Now that I look back on it, I think I was just spinning my wheels and getting nowhere.

Karin…

I'm not saying nobody else had any aspirations. Just that it wasn't the case for most of them.

So things started feeling really weird between us.

At the time, I thought it shouldn't be that way and I couldn't let it go. We'd constantly get into arguments, and in the end, I was taken off the team.

I was convinced I'd just squandered a huge opportunity for myself.

That experience taught me the importance of moderation. It's no use getting too passionate about something. That's why I try to stay composed all the time.

I had no idea, Karin…